great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
