i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
