I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
