That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
