So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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