So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
