She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
