we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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