Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My vagina is officially offended.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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