Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
