In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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