I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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