where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
