sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
