I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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