question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
