i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
