My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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