you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
