Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
