Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
