I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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