you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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