I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
