My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
