Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
