What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
