I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
do herpes really smell.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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