You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
