I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
