Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
