If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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