We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
