what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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