I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
