This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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