i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
