you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
