guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
