My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
