She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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