I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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