Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
