love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
