Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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