I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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