PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
