Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
