We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
