by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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